I mean what about the wet towels on the floor in the bathroom, your husband busting up a suit case leaving his clothes everywhere, the guys ransacking the kitchen, the kids finding the candy-cains before they get to the tree and your kid is the culprit! The man of the house forgetting his job of removing the snow from the walkway because his brother is in town. Not only is the visiting family in a uproar, but also the host family.
Kids are moved from their beds and transferred to a pull out, the bathroom becomes prime real estate, late hours waiting for the kids to sleep so you can actually have a cocktail or a adult conversation without hearing she pulled me, he's touching my stuff.
This can all be very overwhelming and even though I love my family and would do anything for them, visitations can go wrong in the blink of an eye. A question you ask your spouse could cause the other couple to go into a shouting match!! Believe me I know I lived it!!
Before you cancel your family gathering I am going to offer you a survival guide on
How to be a good guest holiday edition:
1. Include yourself and your family in daily chores.
Dishes, taking out the trash, preparing meals, running to the store, cleaning up.
This will ease some of the tension if everyone works together.
2. Keep the kids happy
Rotating who keeps the kids busy with stories, games, silly conversations, holiday crafts, movies, etc..
This keeps the noise down and gives every one a break from being a referee.
3. Keep your stuff in your given area.
Keeping your luggage and personal belongings in a designated area keeps the house from looking like baggage claim of an airport and it helps so you don't leave behind your favorite pajamas when its time to go.
And the host will appreciate it more then you know!
4. Don't change their life styles
Many people live different ways, I say to each their own. When in Rome, do as the Romans do. If they eat at 5pm you eat at 5pm. If they don't give their kids a snack before dinner, hold back on the snacks for your kids if any. You don't want to put the family out of sync and you don't want a child to cry when you leave, only because you gave them cookies when the parents said no.
5. Offer your awesome services
Cook a meal, watch the kids while they do some shopping, take the kids to see a holiday movie while they gift wrap. Make your presence valuable not burden some, you do want to be called back next year!!
6. Don't bring up the past
If your family is anything like mine, you know there are certain topics not to bring up, because Christmas will just be canceled after that. If these subjects come up, do your best to skip to something more lighthearted.
You don't want your brother staring you down because you brought up his high school sweet heart do you?
7. Make yourself scarce
Get out of the house for a day if staying more then a week.
Take a drive, go shopping. Do something that will keep you and yours out of the house for a few hours.
Cabin fever with family never ends well.
8. Don't take up to much time of a spouse
Brothers are brothers. Sisters are sisters. Don't take them away during the whole visit from their spouse the holidays are a special time especially for couples, give them their space. If a lovers spat breaks out let it pass, they will mend things on their own.
9. Be like Switzerland
If a argument breaks out and they are asking for advice, the best advice is just to listen and let them blow off steam. Listen to your brother as he claims his wife is a bitch. Listen to your sister as she screams her husband is a ass. Don't take sides, just listen. They will think your nuts and walk away after a while of you not responding to them. Better to be nuts then the reason for a fueling a dying fire.
10. Have fun!!
The holidays are a special time for everyone, a time where memories are made and moments cherished.
Don't bring your worries to the festivities, leave them at the door. A New Year is beginning! A second chance don't let the last year effect the next one. Enjoy your family, friends and holidays!!
I hope this little guide helps! Share this post if you like it, It helps me out and makes me happy :)
Laurie M.
